|Rebecca.Stay|

Rebecca Stay. What can I say? We have a complicated relationship. Maybe because we’re forced to be together 24/7. Or maybe because we’ve known each other since (literally) the “Womb.” Who knows. It’s complex.

Is this weird? Absolutely… but I thought it might be amusing (or a much needed distraction) to turn the tables on myself rather than make an ask of someone who is rightfully pre-occupied with life’s pressures — trying to stay afloat during this incredibly difficult time in our industry’s history. 

I’ve been blessed with working in TV for decades — some great years, some confusing ones. What I know for sure (as Oprah would say) is that I’ve been able to do what I love to do, which is to play in the sandbox with some of the most gifted talent and creatives in the industry, for a very long time. And for that I will be forever grateful. 

RS: Describe yourself in a logline.

ME: Script consultant who secretly wants to add “professional pickle ball player” to her resume. 

RS: How did you get your first job?

ME: A childhood bestie got me an interview with her boss at ABC network when she was promoted to another department. I should start with the fact that I probably had no business getting the job. At the time, the only three tools I possessed were: I was a trusting soul, a sense of humor and a handful of street smarts. 

I will say, serendipity has been my lucky charm, my constant as far as my career is concerned.

RS: You’ve worked with some crazy talented people. What was it like working with Salma Hayek?

ME: She was amazing. Driven, creative, passionate. I don’t know why, but one of my favorite memories of her was when we were leaving a meeting at Disney and she turned to me and asked (off the cuff) if I would ever consider being on Dancing with the Stars and without hesitation I said, “Dear God, no. That would be a nightmare. No one needs to see me dance.” And when my response made her laugh out loud hard, it made my day. It’s not that I provided comedy gold, I just think it was in my delivery and how horrified I looked at the prospect. 

I’ve worked with legendary women: Patricia Heaton (along with partner, David Hunt), Salma Hayek (along with partner, Jose Tamez), and Lisa Kudrow (along with partner, Dan Bucatinsky). They all taught me invaluable lessons; I learned the importance of knowing your brand, lessons in confidence and pragmatism, and how to persevere. 

RS: Most of the last half of your career was heading production companies, working with talent. Are those deals challenging? 

ME: For awhile I thought I was getting the reputation for heading talent deals… which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but yes, these types of TV overall deals are extremely challenging. Among certain circles, they had the reputation for being called “vanity deals.” A way for the studios to reward their talent for making them loads of money. It made it hard to convince executives at outlets to take the projects seriously. It’s already like winning the lottery to get something on the air as a producer so when you put in the mix an actor trying to set something up who has never produced before, it just makes convincing outlets to take a leap of faith that much more difficult. I worked with incredible talent who had incredible taste. Smart, Savvy, Capable… but most of the time it was like working in a Catch 22 black hole. I do think that things have shifted and talent is proving they have what it takes to produce and create. 

RS: What was your most embarrassing moment as an executive? 

ME: It was near the end of my stint at UPN (before it became The CW). We were in a big meeting – the president, my boss (head of drama development), myself and a colleague. The meeting was with a huge producer and a writing team. They were all debating or trying to defend their character choices in the project we were developing with them and I tried several times to chime in because the example they were attempting to use was from a show I previously worked on and knew first hand as to why they might be wrong. I could not get a word in and suddenly I felt so frustrated that I slammed my hands down on the conference table and yelled something out. I don’t recall what I said… I blacked out, which in hindsight was the proper response given I was properly mortified post meeting. 

As we were walking out of the conference room, I turned to my colleague and asked, “Did that just happen?” and she looked at me with a huge grin on her face and said, “That was brilliant.” The funny thing is I’m 100% certain that no one in that room remembers the meeting or me (well, except my co-worker) let alone who was in the room… and yet here it sits… now seared into my memory bank.

It was a clear sign I needed to get out of the job and I did… I left the company shortly thereafter. To be clear, I was not fired! In fact, when my contract was up, they wanted me to stay, but I left because I wanted more time with my newborn and I missed being on the other side of the creative process. 

RS: Best life/career advice you’ve received.

ME: Oh, I have some good ones!

My first boss, Shu Mukai said in my interview with him… “What we do is not brain surgery.” For him, it was about trust. He dealt with confidential budgets, salaries, etc. He needed someone who he could trust and someone who felt comfortable with confidential materials. Pffff. Easy. If I had a middle name (which I don’t), it would be “One who carries secrets well.” But I mean that in a good way… Not a creepy, unlawful way… which should go without saying, but in today’s world, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Another great one: It’s all about relationships.

An acting teacher at CSULB once told a room of us (striving actors), “It’s all about relationships.” It was during an advanced acting class that you had to audition to get into. (Btw — not easy to get chosen.) He told us to look around the room. He explained quite bluntly that very few of us would go on to make it as a working actor, let alone a successful one. And he was not wrong.

He continued and said for us to look at one another — all around us there may be future writers, producers, casting directors and even executives — so be kind to each other. Be respectful of one another because you never know when we’ll all meet again. Maybe someone in the room has your future in their hands. (He was speaking to how caddy, gossipy, competitive the department could get so the advice also acted as a cautionary tale.) It’s all about relationships, but you have to nurture and nourish those relationships. 

I also try to live by the Four Agreements by Don Ruiz: Always do your best, Don’t take it personally, Be impeccable with your word, and Don’t make assumptions.

Some other good advice seedlings I’ve gotten along the way: Be a good listener. Be a good advocate for writers. And for goodness sake — be yourself! There’s only one you so take advantage of that fact. (I’m still working on that last one.)

RS: Script Consulting can get a bad rap. What should people know about it?

ME: Script consulting has been and continues to be a hot (ok… Maybe not “hot” — Luke warm?) filled topic and debate. 

You’re either seen as someone who cheats writers out of their hard earned money or as someone a writer can’t live without. I’ve read and heard extreme opinions. Someone once told me that we pay money for hobbies, money for vacations, money for daily coffees… If you love writing and you want to get better, why not invest in someone who will support and guide you in your endeavor? 

On the one hand, yes, there is so much free content out there — to help writers deepen their craft. But rarely will you receive detailed notes and care you’ll get from the right consultant. Script consultant, Jen Grisanti has made a cottage industry out of the job. Incredibly impressive. I believe she was one of the pioneers. She seems to do it all — Speaker, classes, books, podcasts, panels. 

I do believe people should know that when you hire a consultant, that doesn’t mean all your problems with your script disappears. You may have ten more future drafts to look forward to. I think a writer should absolutely use their inner circle for early drafts. But you have to pick and choose those favors and know that your friends are not going to give you an endless well of reads and notes. You can’t take advantage of them. And they are not going to get in the weeds with you as far as feedback and support. 

I think consultants should be sought out when you’ve hit your wall and you’ve used up all of your free read cards with your inner circle. I also recommend seeking people who wear different hats to read your material — that will offer up different perspectives. A director, a writer, and if you have the relationships, you should absolutely get the perspective of development/creative executive (buyer/seller or both). 

And as far as the cost? It can feel pricey, but you know what? I’ve spent decades in the business and have a lot to offer. My time is valuable and it holds worth.

RS: How does one choose a script consultant?

ME: If you Google “script consultant” thousands come up. You could scroll for days. How do you choose?! Word of mouth, looking at various websites… When you zero in on a few, what is their mission statement? What’s their call to action? Talk to them – tell them what you’re looking for… You may have to look around some before you land on the right fit. It’s not a one size fits all scenario. I’m very detail oriented. That might not be for everyone. 

RS: What do you love about consulting?

ME: Plain and simple, I love helping writers… it’s my happy place. I spend way more time on material than my “hourly rate” because I enjoy the process… I love mulling and absorbing the material… contemplating. Nothing brings me more joy than after I’ve delivered my notes and seeing the glee on my writer’s face, hearing they’ve been inspired to dive back in. When they tell me that my notes helped them see the direction they need to now head into… and still be excited? Nothing better.

RS: Do you have a special talent that would surprise people?

ME: Yes, I have two quirky talents: 1) I can wiggle my ears. Let me tell you, NOT an easy task. I inherited this gift from my dad… not sure you can teach it, but one day, I was able to just do it. And 2) I can yelp like a puppy’s paw is being stepped on. Don’t ask me how that came to be… though it’s a really good impersonation and no — no puppies were harmed in the sharpening of this talent.

RS: Do you have a favorite word?

ME: At the moment, my favorite word is, “Adjacent.” Ask me tomorrow and I’m sure it will be different.

RS: Proudest Moment(s).

ME: When I finally got my first EP credit on the CBS half hour series, Carol’s Second Act starring Patricia Heaton. As “they” say, there were a lot of cooks in that kitchen. Many talented people, but when there are too many, it starts to muddy what the show has the potential to be… I learned a few things about myself during that run. It was an education for sure.

I’m also proud of being responsible for giving some writers their first gigs and then watching as they rose through the ranks and found much success. It’s also not a bad feeling to be heard and respected by writers you love and admire. 

RS: What are your best and worst attributes? 

ME: My best: I’m patient, a good listener, I advocate for those who need it, and I think I have good instincts when it comes to material and writers.

My worst? It sounds schmaltzy, but probably my passion. I’m like a dog with a bone and have a hard time letting go when it comes to projects that are not going to work out. What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Yeah, that might be me. 

RS: How would you describe your personality? 

ME: Besides having a dual personality doing this q&a? I’d say Creative, Enthusiastic, Organized, Playful, and Positive.

RS: Words to describe how you work with others:

ME: Collaborative, Supportive, Respectful, Honest, Empathetic.

RS: Do you have a favorite tchotchke?

ME: My “Belle Maison” cup filled with No 2 pencils from all over the US and world. I love collecting them. Pencils represent writing which represents creativity which represents my love of putting thoughts down on paper. 

RS: Do you have any regrets?

ME: I’d like to think that all regrets lead you to where you’re meant to be at any given time. That is a comforting notion. If I had to pick a career regret as an executive… I might say I regret not going down the current executive road. I think I would have been good at it.

RS: Any pet peeves?

ME: When someone talks over you. I don’t like it because I used to be guilty of doing the same (and may still fall back into that habit now and again). It just speaks to how un-self aware you are when you do that – you’re not truly paying attention to the conversation if you’re only waiting for the person to stop talking. It becomes all about your own voice and you lose out on a potentially wonderful conversation — or learning something from someone by truly listening and having an equal back and forth dialogue.

RS: What is not on your resume?

ME: I ran a Half Marathon and so far it seems I’ve conquered my muscle disease (Myasthenia Gravis). At the very least I’m enjoying a very long remission. So I suppose that makes me both determined and resilient. I’m definitely a fighter.

RS: What’s a question you wish I asked and one you’re glad I didn’t?

ME: Given I’m in control of this q&a, this q feels unfair. That said…

I wish you (I) would have asked, “Have you ever won a contest before?” And I’d say, Yes! My friend and I came in first place in a talent contest in Elementary school and I also placed second in a high school drama festival – in individual pantomime. 

I’m glad you didn’t ask, “What’s your favorite Color?” because the podcast, Smartless makes fun of Sean Hayes for asking q’s like that… Plus, I have too many favorites, it would be difficult to zero in on just one.

And there you have it. The resilient Rebecca Stay enduring the oddest Q&A she’s done thus far! 

For more q&a’s go to:  www.rebecca-stay.com/blog

Bio: 

Go to: https://rebecca-stay.com/about